MARRIAGE/LOVE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES

LOVE IS LIKE A ROSE” TO PICK THE ROSE AND ENJOY HER BEAUTY” YOU MUST ENDURE THE SUFFERING OF HER THORNS.

I believe marriage/love like,  life is defined as much by the problems that have to be overcome together, as a husband and wife or as partners.Many a times .We are not prepared or warned about what will come up and our reactions or the actions of the other person tends to cripple the relationship.

Marriage/love is not always a bed of roses. In every relationship, there are ups and downs. It is not always perfect and conflict free. It is about confronting .These issues and overcoming them without hurting the other party.

This is possibly one of the things that are hard to achieve.Marriage/relationships are not a stroll down Easy road.It is more like a bumpy drive,through Traits and Weakness . It is difficult because, it is the bonding together of two limited and imperfect human beings.That is what we forget to remember, we are both human and we are both flawed.

 Becoming one does not mean becoming the same. Oneness only means, sharing the same degree of commitment to the marriage, having the goals, dreams, and mission in life as a couple.That is what we struggle through because ,we have to let go of what we know we have to let go of some aspects that do not fit into the union and those are the growing pains that cripple people.The issues that remain unresolved come back again and again until they’re resolved and worked out Achieving internal conformity comes with engaging in unselfish acts like;

• ·         Build respect and self-love. Developing love and respect for one’s self contributes to building a healthy relationship with a partner.  Sometimes we’re blessed with partners who have an abundance of Self-confidence and can help us to cultivate this quality within ourselves.  At other times we need to look inside to find the qualities we love about ourselves.  A good partner will help us to find our best qualities and build our self-esteem. 
• ·         Make a best friend and coach of your mate. Our mates may be the only people who will be honest with us when we have muck on our faces.  While others might ignore it or walk away, our partners will say, “honey, clean your face.”  Our partner is usually the one who knows us better than anyone else and if we listen to their feedback, he or she can help us become better people.
• ·         Listen and affirm. One of the biggest issues in relationships is a lack of effective communication. While most couples communicate all the time through slamming doors, yelling, criticizing and complaining, this kind of communication is destructive.  Good communication means really listening to a partner in the same way we might listen to a dear friend.  With a friend we seek to understand. We will sit and listen patiently and often repeat back some of the things they’ve said to let them know we’ve heard and understood.  “I feel like you don’t pay attention,” a mate may say.  Repeating, “I understand that you don’t feel like I pay attention,” may be a good way to connect and move into deeper understanding. But this must be done with sincerity and heart.
• ·         Be attentive, not defensive. It’s easy to fall into the blame game where both parties start to blame the other for how they’re acting.  Make a concerted effort to step out of this, take responsibility for actions and move into a softer more receptive space rather than onto defensive terrain where the language can sometime turn brutal.  By stepping back just a little and taking the ego out of play, the barrier to real connection falls away and a door to a sincere, heartfelt connection opens.
• ·         Make the first move to improve. If you’re willing to make a change for the better, but your mate isn’t on board, then don’t be deterred.  Go ahead and follow your agenda. Listen and affirm.  Be attentive; stop criticizing and hold good intentions and thoughts about your mate and your partnership. By simply making changes in yourself and your actions and attitudes, the world around will change too. 

·  Relationships are investments you commit to conform uniformly and the process of unification is what is the hardest .The most important thing is to make sure the person you choose to embark on this journey is the kind of person you are willing to change it all for that way it is not a struggle or a sacrifice but it becomes a willing choice you would happily do over again and again with until you get it right.
Live< Love ,Learn and never stop Dreaming.
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